this is the sum of a gin and tonic plus random myspaced european indie pop -
i had a xanga once upon a time, but the site is now filled with porn and fundamentalists. i'm going to attempt to start writing again. i need a place to polish and refine my thoughts, one that looks good and jibes with the new me i've found here in this strange land down under.
speaking of which, i miss asheville sometimes. i miss good beer, the guy on the public address system down the street at the little league field, having an interstate or two around, and real barbecue. there are pluses to the little section of cromer heights i call home, however. there's a great view, and a beach close by. i live with decent roommates, one of whom i create music with. i know plenty of cool people, and can fit a good number of them in my common room.
enough nostalgia. there are topics which have been floating around in my head lately, topics which need to be discussed. i'll spurt them out in a burst of alphabetized memory and then expound upon them later when i find the time. observe:
arts and God.
salvation is holistic for those whom accept it, and there need be no pragmatic justification for an aesthetic creation. the sacrifice of Jesus redeems our endeavors, without regard to type of expression. There must be a moral context, however - deliberate deception on the part of an artist (i.e. work that is meant to lead astray) is unacceptable.
cars.
they're a lot easier to fix than you think. i put brake pads on every wheel yesterday and today, and it cost $140 AUD and about three hours of my time. i'm going to get one of the brake discs resurfaced later this week, and it will cost $15 AUD if i take it off myself. all of those things would have easily run me $500 AUD at a garage. the d.i.y. ethic pays!
church.
i'm not satisfied with the way it is but i'm not sure i know what to do about it. i do know it's not supposed to be a haven from the world. nor is it supposed to be a "place" per se. from what i can gather it's supposed to be a body of people who are transparent with each other (as much as humans can be) and who edify/teach one another in order to accomplish the goal of loving people and loving God. fancy buildings and lots of time-consuming programs don't seem to be accomplishing that.
growing up.
most days i don't feel like a little boy. i've heard some people say they do, but i feel like a man, albeit a young one. i think my identity has grown up, even if others around me seem to be stuck in high school from time to time. i do find it interesting, however, that most people my age (15-30) find it unsatisfactory to do the expected and settle down. we crave something more but find ourselves at a loss to explain what it is. maybe we just get past the superficial more quickly than our parents did, and find less use for pretense. or maybe not.
music.
the avett brothers' "emotionalism" is my album of the year thus far. lymbyc systym's "love your abuser" is another good one, as is minus the bear's "planet of ice." thrice's new one will probably make you explode. if i find anything else worth listening to i'll let you know.
relationship.
we're alone but don't know ourselves, yet we're always around people and don't know them either. what a predicament. i think this is one we have to solve for ourselves.
sex.
i've been fasting lust lately (and hopefully for a long time to come) and i'm 99% sure that the gap between males and God is due to the fact that we don't talk about it and we don't deal with it. we reserve it for men's meetings and then sweep it under the rug for another six months. this contributes greatly to church worship being so toothless and unimpacting. we need a balance of ferocity and intimacy in worship (as well as personality), and we lack the former because christian men are giving their testicles to lust instead of the Father. the great fire-core of the universe (as MacDonald called Him) made us to walk with a pair between our legs, but we have sacrificed it. after three weeks of solid accountability i feel a lot more open and intimate with God. i feel stronger, but there is a long road ahead.
time management.
i need more of it. i need to read good books (harry potter and/or trashy christian psychobabble don't count), write music, enjoy this strange continent, have beer on the deck with people. i need less programs and classes and careers. i need more time to do things i love and less to do things i don't.
i'd use a witty foreign word for the ending here, but i don't know any. the gin is finished, but the heater is on and the bed is empty. i wish it weren't.
i had a xanga once upon a time, but the site is now filled with porn and fundamentalists. i'm going to attempt to start writing again. i need a place to polish and refine my thoughts, one that looks good and jibes with the new me i've found here in this strange land down under.
speaking of which, i miss asheville sometimes. i miss good beer, the guy on the public address system down the street at the little league field, having an interstate or two around, and real barbecue. there are pluses to the little section of cromer heights i call home, however. there's a great view, and a beach close by. i live with decent roommates, one of whom i create music with. i know plenty of cool people, and can fit a good number of them in my common room.
enough nostalgia. there are topics which have been floating around in my head lately, topics which need to be discussed. i'll spurt them out in a burst of alphabetized memory and then expound upon them later when i find the time. observe:
arts and God.
salvation is holistic for those whom accept it, and there need be no pragmatic justification for an aesthetic creation. the sacrifice of Jesus redeems our endeavors, without regard to type of expression. There must be a moral context, however - deliberate deception on the part of an artist (i.e. work that is meant to lead astray) is unacceptable.
cars.
they're a lot easier to fix than you think. i put brake pads on every wheel yesterday and today, and it cost $140 AUD and about three hours of my time. i'm going to get one of the brake discs resurfaced later this week, and it will cost $15 AUD if i take it off myself. all of those things would have easily run me $500 AUD at a garage. the d.i.y. ethic pays!
church.
i'm not satisfied with the way it is but i'm not sure i know what to do about it. i do know it's not supposed to be a haven from the world. nor is it supposed to be a "place" per se. from what i can gather it's supposed to be a body of people who are transparent with each other (as much as humans can be) and who edify/teach one another in order to accomplish the goal of loving people and loving God. fancy buildings and lots of time-consuming programs don't seem to be accomplishing that.
growing up.
most days i don't feel like a little boy. i've heard some people say they do, but i feel like a man, albeit a young one. i think my identity has grown up, even if others around me seem to be stuck in high school from time to time. i do find it interesting, however, that most people my age (15-30) find it unsatisfactory to do the expected and settle down. we crave something more but find ourselves at a loss to explain what it is. maybe we just get past the superficial more quickly than our parents did, and find less use for pretense. or maybe not.
music.
the avett brothers' "emotionalism" is my album of the year thus far. lymbyc systym's "love your abuser" is another good one, as is minus the bear's "planet of ice." thrice's new one will probably make you explode. if i find anything else worth listening to i'll let you know.
relationship.
we're alone but don't know ourselves, yet we're always around people and don't know them either. what a predicament. i think this is one we have to solve for ourselves.
sex.
i've been fasting lust lately (and hopefully for a long time to come) and i'm 99% sure that the gap between males and God is due to the fact that we don't talk about it and we don't deal with it. we reserve it for men's meetings and then sweep it under the rug for another six months. this contributes greatly to church worship being so toothless and unimpacting. we need a balance of ferocity and intimacy in worship (as well as personality), and we lack the former because christian men are giving their testicles to lust instead of the Father. the great fire-core of the universe (as MacDonald called Him) made us to walk with a pair between our legs, but we have sacrificed it. after three weeks of solid accountability i feel a lot more open and intimate with God. i feel stronger, but there is a long road ahead.
time management.
i need more of it. i need to read good books (harry potter and/or trashy christian psychobabble don't count), write music, enjoy this strange continent, have beer on the deck with people. i need less programs and classes and careers. i need more time to do things i love and less to do things i don't.
i'd use a witty foreign word for the ending here, but i don't know any. the gin is finished, but the heater is on and the bed is empty. i wish it weren't.
3 comments:
Nice to see you here - or there, as the case may be.
Enjoyed your comments - those on church in particular. I'm glad to find myself in such good company with this quandary of religious practice versus spiritual relationship.
Keep writing. I'll keep reading.
I really enjoyed this, and I am glad to know you. I think you are right on with the lust bit. It is very olde thyme to say that, saying no to something and actually abstaining, is a good thing. In our rush to be free, we came to enjoy never having to hear NO. I love the WHOLENESS I can give to god. I love the Wholeness I can experience, having kept it all on the altar. You sound good. You sound like you just want life and good times and god, instead of just hearing about it. Big Mtn. barbecue moved location-don't worry I will let you in.... when you become a man you know that no other man will mold you but will break against you. Only god (and a woman) can shape a man.
next time you're in the land, we'll grab a pint and a sammich - it'll be like heaven.
and harry potter rocks - resistence is futile.
much love, bud.
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